weight & health & ramblings

I can't remember many times in my life when I've not been worried about my weight. Maybe when I lived in Spain and walked everywhere and lost quite a bit of weight. Definitely not when I was pregnant - man, did I ever LOVE being pregnant! Never did I feel so good as those 18 months! There have been a few other times off and on.

I often wonder what the heck I was thinking back in high school when I was sure I was fat. Amazing what a person's head does to us. I love the fact that I have curves. I love having an hourglass figure - even if it is a larger hourglass than I'd like to have. I am content with the knowledge that if I ever got to the BMI weight that is supposed to be healthy for me, I'd look like Skeletor, and there is nothing pretty OR sexy about that.

One of my goals is to get more fit - more healthy. I'm working hard at that. I'm using the map my walk app (http://mapmyfitness.com) on my iPhone. I'm greatly enjoying going on walks with Rob. It is nice to walk and talk and just enjoy one another's company. It is also nice to have a twelve-year-old daughter who I trust to watch Rhys. I can remember that Jeremy and I would argue when our folks were home, but when I was watching him, everything went smoothly. It seems like that is the case for Irene and Rhys as well.

While the kids were off track, Rhys and I went on many walks together. It was something that I greatly enjoyed. We did shorter and slower walks, but they were precious and dear to me. It was time that he could just talk and I could listen. There were lots of discussions about the animals, particularly lizards and snakes, but also bees and colony collapse disorder, and ants. We talked about heaven and what he thinks it might be like. We talked about The Warriors books that he loves and wants to discuss and talk through, but it tends to drive Irene a bit insane. Now that they are back in school, I'm missing that time we had. But he's doing karate (and LOVING it!) 2 - 4 times per week, and it's hard to figure out where to fit it in. We will figure it out in time.

Today, it was 10 degrees when I put the kids on the bus. I knew it was going to be cold. When Rob left for work, it was 7 degrees. Yes, seven. So I had to plan what I was going to wear to make my walk successful. I put on my cuddle dud top, another long sleeve fitted shirt over that, a sweatshirt, my wool hoodie, a lovely handmade scarf, my jacket, and gloves with mittens over. On my lower half, I decided that because I couldn't find my cuddle dud bottoms to wear under jeans, I'd suck it up and wear the LL Bean fleece lined jeans that I've had for 6 years now that have never fit comfortably. They always took me laying down flat on my bed or hopping around to get them up and zipped. Once on, they'd be fine, until I had to sit down, then I'd have to think about the setting and figure out if I could tactfully unbutton the damned things or not. So, today I put them on. They fit. I didn't have to take a deep intake of breath to make my lower half skinnier than usual - I didn't have to wriggle them over my ample hips. I just put them on. And right now? I'm sitting on my bed cross legged and still wearing them. They are still feeling fine! As if they were any other pair of jeans that I own. Astounding. This morning, I was 3 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant with Rhys. That's still a good 20 - 25 pounds heavier than my happy happy joy joy weight (which is still probably considered overweight according to my BMI), but it is less than I've weighed in a  really long time. So - yea me!

So - back to my walk in the 10 degree air...Taking those first breaths outside in the 10 degree air was sort of crazy. felt like breathing in ice. But I had Pandora set to the Erasure station and blissed out on *MY* kind of 80s music (erasure, depeche mode, the cure, duran duran, new order, naked eyes, thompson twins, yaz, OMD, when in rome, etc etc etc), and focused on walking and not falling on the ice. It was good. I went farther than I thought I was going to go - and I know it looks funny if you see the loops and twists and turns i make, but it works for me - and faster than I've gone to date (probably because it was cold!).

For me, it never did. Give me the curves and some extra flesh.

I got the above picture from Carrie's fb page. I really don't think it is the men that feel this way. Men that I know like for women to have curves. So, I'm just going to look at that bottom half and think of that. And, I'll keep on working on healthier living and being.

And now, I *really* need to get some things packed up so that I can ship some woefully late presents out as well as ship the ebay item to the winner so that I can head to school and work in the kids' classrooms.