Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Long time no post

Wow - it's been well over a year since the last time I wrote anything on here...and i'm just going to be all me me me here for today's post.

On 11/11/11, i had surgery - it was a resection of my colon. 1' of it was removed - hopefully all the diverticulosis in my intestines is now gone. It's been quite the recovery. I thought it would be like my c-sections. um, yeah...no. Much more difficult - partly, I'm sure, because I don't have a sweet baby to hold, nurse, love, and care for.

I was diagnosed with diverticulitis in October 2009. That is when my panic/anxiety attacks began as well. I'd thought I understood what people meant when they said panic attack/anxiety attack. Boy. I knew nothing. Not A Damn Thing. After having my first one, I understood. Holy hell. They are awful and debilitating.

So - had my surgery. Things seemed to be going well, then, out of nowhere, I had a reminiscent pain that I shouldn't have that is what i associate with diverticulitis. It threw me into a panic attack. I'm now trying to drag myself out of them. Last night I finally took one of my generic xanax pills. It's only the 2nd time I've actually taken one. I took another one today because my mom offered to come over and make cookies with the kids. I slept for a good 3 hours.

I had a few friends call with a few ideas. I will try them and see how it goes.

wow - this was a happy and uplifting post...it'll be better next time.

I'm trying to figure out ways to talk myself out of these panic attacks. it's really hard to be an